GoofyGuru

PRICKLY PUNISHMENT

admin — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 03:02:57 +0000

The Cactus Sword is often called
The Blade of a Thousand Pins.
It’s used out in the desert by
A tribe of Bedouins.
Although it has no cutting edge,
It’s sharp in other ways—
An enemy prodded with one of these
Won’t sit for several days!

DUMB DOOR

admin — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 03:01:36 +0000

Ali Baba stood before the door.
“OPEN SESAME!” he roared.
But the door remained
quite tightly closed.
It wasn’t listening, he supposed.
“OPEN SESAME!” again he roared,
Yet still his order was ignored.
Umm . . . it was the right word,
he was sure.
Yes, right word, but . . .
er . . . wrong door!

THE OBVIOUS

admin — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 03:03:04 +0000

They call him Willy Forty Winks,
An obvious name, or so you’d think,
For someone always taking naps.
But as for Willy, well, perhaps
There’s one more reason (hard to miss)
Just why he has a name like this.

THE GREAT ACTOR

admin — Mon, 30 May 2011 02:54:45 +0000

He was the greatest actor of his day—
Though long gone, I’m afraid—
Playing such parts as the big brown egg
In the play What the Chicken Laid,
And the freshly baked loaf of bread
In After the Sandwiches Were Made.
But it was his portrayal of the sugar spoon
In the classic, The Scolding Tea,
When, of course, he played the lead,
Or his final role as the red balloon
In The Tiny Pin’s Terrible Deed
That will surely go down in history
As performances to see.
Oh how he is missed
For that last great creation—
Going out with a bang, not a hiss.
Though, of course,
With a standing ovation.

TRUE LOVE

admin — Mon, 23 May 2011 02:53:23 +0000

“Here, darling, I’ve picked you a rose.”
“But that’s not a rose, it’s a nose!”
“Oh, so it is, but don’t feel blue,
When I picked it I was thinking of you.”

THE DITHERERS

admin — Mon, 16 May 2011 01:50:44 +0000

I’ve heard there was a ten-toed tribe,
A most peculiar race,
Who for some reason never moved
But stayed in just one place.
Which way to go, this way or that—
They never could decide.
And so . . .
they dithered . . .
and dithered . . .
and dithered . . .
and dithered . . .
and dithered . . .
and dithered . . .
and . . . died!

SILLY SUPERSTITION

admin — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 12:13:06 +0000

(Or Killing a Spider Brings Bad Luck)

The Saber-Toothed Spider—
Just to look at it,

You’d never ever think
It made dinosaurs extinct.

But when some blundering brontosaurus
Went and stepped on one,

Little did anyone know
That before so very long

All those Giant Lizards
Would amazingly be gone.

BOOK JUICE

admin — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:00:45 +0000

I’m constantly being told
By those who seem to know,
“When you drink from the Well of Life,
You have to be thirsty for knowledge.”
So, perhaps if I put my books in the blender,
Added a dash of lemon or orange,
I could sip great wisdom through a straw
And be smart forevermore.

EAR ART

admin — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 12:00:24 +0000

Salvador Balmi’s most famous painting
Is surely “The Walls Have Ears”—
A masterpiece of experimentation,
The envy of his peers.

P.S.
Other paintings in the same series include
“The Bedroom Ceiling Has Toes”
and “My Nose Without Its Clothes.”

SPRING FASHION

admin — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 02:04:47 +0000

The shoe store said, “They’ll give you
That light and airy feeling.”
So home she went
And tried them on
And walked straight through the ceiling!